I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
