No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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