You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Text me some of your sweat
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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