this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
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Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
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Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I look excited, but its just a facade.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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