Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Randomize
