I feel great
I just peed on a car
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
