Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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