11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
plz talk dirty to me
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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