Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
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If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
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Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
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