Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Now it won't go down.

(512): View more from Texas

You've got a gift.

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(204): Now it won't go down. (512): You've got a gift. http://tfl.nu/m37i

Replies (2) Good night (1236) Bad night (387)
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(818): View more from California

Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.

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(818): Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square. http://tfl.nu/gdo6

Replies (24) Good night (2893) Bad night (400) Order T-Shirt
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(314): View more from Missouri

i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit

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(314): i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit http://tfl.nu/hok4

Replies (38) Good night (718) Bad night (8510)
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(914): View more from New York

Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.

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(914): Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary. http://tfl.nu/8dm9

Replies (44) Good night (5291) Bad night (731) Order T-Shirt
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(419): View more from Ohio

dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"

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(419): dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault" http://tfl.nu/a193

Replies (16) Good night (1380) Bad night (6241) Order T-Shirt
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(573): View more from Missouri

my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.

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(573): my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake. http://tfl.nu/nq7t

Replies (49) Good night (2150) Bad night (4428) Order T-Shirt
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(210): View more from Texas

drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend

(1-210): View more from Texas

I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.

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(210): drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend (1-210): I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning. http://tfl.nu/558s

Replies (26) Good night (2001) Bad night (5073)
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(315): View more from New York

mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?

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(315): mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!? http://tfl.nu/d0je

Replies (6) Good night (791) Bad night (2585) Order T-Shirt
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.

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(250): Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for. http://tfl.nu/ra5n

Replies (10) Good night (3913) Bad night (620) Order T-Shirt
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(312): View more from Illinois

The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin

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(312): The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin http://tfl.nu/3kj0

Replies (3) Good night (736) Bad night (2607)
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(333): View more from

im calling her cock vulture from now on

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(333): im calling her cock vulture from now on http://tfl.nu/4dmx

Replies (28) Good night (2698) Bad night (1359) Order T-Shirt
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(727): View more from Florida

found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?

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(727): found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain? http://tfl.nu/or8y

Replies (3) Good night (2514) Bad night (1149) Order T-Shirt
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(352): View more from Florida

I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!

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(352): I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas! http://tfl.nu/fx1v

Replies (4) Good night (1713) Bad night (458) Order T-Shirt
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(480): View more from Arizona

I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.

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(480): I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it. http://tfl.nu/wwgo

Replies (5) Good night (1064) Bad night (560)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.

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(423): He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis. http://tfl.nu/f7rk

Replies (7) Good night (1533) Bad night (355) Order T-Shirt

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