Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
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Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
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i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that