yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!