Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑