Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
