At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
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But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
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I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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