just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
