got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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