You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
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the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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