is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize