And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
The best revenge is premature balding
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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