I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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