True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
