I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
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That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!