I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
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It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
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And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*