I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Damn victory sex feels great