Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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