So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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