I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
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