Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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