Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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