Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
