yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
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stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
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