We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
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This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
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Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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