Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize