We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Green mimosas i think yes
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize