If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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