period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize