Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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