My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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