if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize