Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
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I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
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He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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