did you get engaged???
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Randomize
