you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize