He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
