is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize