Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
