I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.