i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game