Small penises have feelings too.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?