Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine