How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
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