If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Is Oprah even human
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize