That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
