How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
