Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
