I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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