I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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