I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize